Yikes! Time got a way from me!

It has been WAY too long since my last post! Tommy is now 8 months old.

He is wearing size 4 diapers and size 9 month or 9-12 month clothing (some 6-12 month from Gymboree). He still has 2 teeth and is able to go from sitting to his belly. He army crawls, pulling himself along the floor by his arms with his belly on the floor.

He says mamamama, dadadada, bababababa, and many other sounds. He can give high fives, wave bye-bye, and give kisses. He drinks 3, 6oz bottles of formula a day as well as breastfeeding 2-3 times a day.

He has recently begun to sleep through the night, like for real sleeping through, not the 5+hour straight stretches that the doctors like to tell us counts. He goes to bed at 8pm and sleeps until about 5 or 6am. He is sooooooo much fun and I'm loving this stage!

Spending time with my little guy!

This week is Winter Break for my school district which means I get to be home with my little buddy all week! I give stay at home moms a lot of credit, it's exhausting! Tommy's at a stage where he wants everything in his eye sight: remote, my phone, computer, my soda bottle, his toys, the boppy, his jumperoo, his bouncy chair, the rug, the dog, the cat, the mail, etc. He wants them all RIGHT NOW but don't you dare just hand them to him, he wants to get them himself. But he can't crawl yet. He can only spin around in circles on his belly. If he can't quite reach whatever it is that he wants, he gets very frustrated.

It becomes a constant game of redirection. Hey Tommy! Look at this! Ok, you're bored with that? Look at this! Reach for this! Don't hit it out of your reach! On, and on, and on. He has also decided that naps are for suckers. I have a hard time getting him to lay down and end up nursing him to sleep, something that I know daycare never has to do! Then he stays asleep for about 20 minutes and is up and ready to go again!

I know part of this is his teeth. One has pushed its way through but there is at least one more close to breaking through, if not 3 more. His first to break through is his bottom right tooth. The bottom left tooth is right there and the top two look dangerously close too! Poor guy.

He's also not sleeping great at night. He had been sleeping straight through from 7:30-4:30 then some days going back down somethings being up at that time. Not fun but at least no getting up several times. The last few nights we're back to getting up 3 times a night BUT he's been sleeping until 6:30 or 7. Who knows. I've stopped trying to figure him out. He'll straighten out eventually!

Ok, Little Dude has had enough of the Jumperoo. I better go get him and start playing!

Yup, sick again

Ugh. Tommy has been sick again. On Thursday morning he woke up just in time for me to change his diaper, get him dressed, and take him to daycare. I did so, then out the door we went. I had taken the morning off of work to go to the dentist to get a crown for my root canal. On our way to daycare, Tommy pooped (which he never does) and needed to be changed. I took him out of his carseat and laid him on the changing table in his room. The lead teacher came over and insisted that she do it (bless her) so I finished putting his bottles in the refrigerator and signing him in. I went over to kiss him goodbye as the teacher pulled up his onsie to reveal a nasty rash all over his torso.

The director of the daycare came in and suggested that I get it checked out so I cancelled my dentist appointment (they were not happy with me but oh well, they'll get over it) and was lucky enough to get a 9:00 appointment at the pediatrician's office.

I got in to see Tommy's specific pediatrician and she diagnosed him with roseola due to his lack of any other symptoms. At the last minuted, she decided to do a quick strep test to be sure she wasn't missing anything and was shocked when it came back positive. The diagnosis was changed to Scarlet Fever.

So I called work and took off the rest of the day and picked up Tommy's prescription for Amoxicillan and we snuggled for the rest of the day on the couch. The daycare policy is 24 hours of antibiotics but since we had our first dose at 9:45am, they let me bring him on Friday at 7:30am. He was in good spirits and napped well. His first two bottles went well but he flat out refused his third bottle. No big deal, I figured I could just give it to him when we got home. He drank about a half ounce before he spit out the nipple and cried. I laid back on the couch and he laid his head on my chest and we cuddled.

And then it happened.

Tommy picked up his head and projectile vomited all over my chest. I mean, this child is 17lbs and the amount of vomit would have rivaled the amount I had seen adults lose. It seeped through my shirt, my tank, and my bra. It was all down the front of me, in my jeans and even my underwear. The couch under me was coated in vomit. I yelled for Bill to come help me (he was conveniently in the bathroom when this all occurred) and he rushed in with a towel which he used to wrap up Tommy and proceeded to get him cleaned and changed while I showered.

Tommy pretty much slept on and off all of last night. He just could not seem to get comfortable. He didn't want to eat. He didn't want me to hold him. He didn't want me to put him down. He was just miserable.

This morning I tried to feed him several times and every time he would nurse for about a minute or two then refuse. Bill tried to give him a bottle and he drank less than an ounce. This really started to worry me so I called the doctor and they got him in at 10:45.

At 10:00 I tried to feed Tommy again and this time he ate hungrily for about 5 minutes before falling asleep.

The doctor checked him all out and noticed that one of his bottom front teeth seems to be trying to poke through. She determined that this was the reason he wasn't eating. She told us to give him Tylenol and to feed him whenever he seems hungry.

We gave him some Tylenol when we got home and for the next 4 hours he cluster fed. He was probably so hungry! Then he took a long nap and woke up almost a new baby. He was a little fussy this evening but is now sleeping.

It's so hard knowing something isn't right with your baby but not knowing just what it is. The worst part for me is seeing him uncomfortable or even in pain and not knowing what to do. I gave him some Tylenol before bed in hopes that he'll get a good amount of sleep tonight. I'm planning on going to get some teething tabs tomorrow. I've heard good things about them and I'll update on their effects on Tommy.

For now, I'm going to see if I can catch up on some much needed sleep, myself!

Tommy's Tummy

My poor baby has a sensitive tummy. We found out at 8 weeks that he has a dairy sensitivity so I cut all dairy out of my diet. Then, right before he turned 4 months old, our pediatrician asked us to try rice cereal so we would know how he reacted before his 4 month appointment. After a few attempts, he liked it but it really upset his stomach. We decided that we were in no rush so we waited a month before trying again.

A month later, right after Christmas, we tried again and again, he had stomach pains. He was up at night crying in pain. I tried oatmeal after 2 nights of pain and it was even worse. He cried all day and then woke up at 10:30 screaming louder and with more force than I've ever heard from him. It was 15 minutes of inconsolable screaming. I was about to call the doctor when he just stopped. I kept him in the PNP next to my side of the bed because I was so freaked up.

Luckily, we had an appointment scheduled for the next day to re-check his breathing (back to normal!) after his chest cold so I knew I could discuss it with her then.

I told the pedi all about what happened and she was perplexed. She said that she wasn't thrilled that he reacted that way but it didn't seem like an allergy, just a sensitive belly. She suggested that we skip cereal for now and move on to veggies. As long as he tolerates veggies for a bit, we can try and mix in a tiny bit of cereal and see how he responds. She does want him on cereal for the iron content but isn't too worried about it until he's 6 months old.

So we skipped all solids yesterday and HE SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT!!! Woohoo!!! I needed that after 3 straight nights of little sleep. Today, I fed him 4 little spoonfuls of sweet potatoes. I figure that if his tummy is sensitive, it's best to do a little at a time. He LOVED sweet potatoes! No tummy trouble so far. We'll see how he does tonight. If all goes well, I'll give him some more tomorrow. Fingers crossed that this goes over well.

Optimistically, I started making baby food today. I had no desire to make my own until I started looking at the pre-packaged stuff. Some brands have all kinds of other ingredients in them. Not something I want being put into my son, especially with his tummy. Then the organic kind is SO EXPENSIVE! We had some Babies R Us gift cards so I bought a Baby Brezza baby food maker and tried it out this morning. I'm in love! It makes it all so easy! I bought a package of carrots for $1.25 and made up 2 batches in less than an hour!

I put the puree in the BPA-free ice cube trays I have here and froze them and popped them into a freezer-safe ziplock bag. The most work for me was peeling and chopping. The Baby Brezza is awesome because you just put the food in, turn on the steam and blend and let it go. Tommy started crying and needed a nap while I was doing the second batch so I took him out of his highchair where he was playing and put him down for a nap. By the time I came back, it had finished steaming and blending and was just sitting there waiting for me!

I realized that I can probably use frozen veggies and prep time would be practically nothing! A bag of frozen carrots is $0.99 at my grocery store without any sales or coupons. Tons of baby food for $0.99 with no additives. Sounds good to me! Once spring rolls around, I can buy fresh, local produce at the farmers market! I'm excited to try other veggies and fruits. Hopefully Tommy's tummy will hold up!

My Big Boy!

We took Tommy to his 4 month doctor's appointment (a weed before he turned 4 months) on Wednesday. He weighed in at 14lbs 4oz and is 25 inches long. This keeps him in the 50th percentile for weight and length. I don't remember what his head circumference was but I know that he was in the 50th percentile for that too. Perfect!

The pediatrician said he looked great and asked if we had introduced rice cereal yet. We had since she instructed us to do so at the 2 month appointment. We told her that he was very disinterested one day, loved it for about 7 spoonfuls the next, and disinterested again the third day. She said to keep trying it from time to time and when he starts taking to it, give it to him daily. She told us we are welcome to start vegetable or fruit purees once he is comfortable with rice but to keep feeding him rice too. She said the most important thing is the breastmilk, followed by rice for the iron, then purees.

This is interesting to me since there are a bunch of girls on the bump who claim that rice is just empty calories. I think I'm going to do a bit of research on this. We have decided that we won't start purees until at least Christmas but probably not until 5 months or later. We haven't decided if we're going to make our own or buy the pre-made stuff. I'd like to make my own but I'm not totally sure I'd keep up with it. We kind of suck at making food for ourselves. We also don't have a food processor so we'd have to buy one of them or a baby food maker. We'll think about it in the next few weeks. If we decide to make our own, the baby food maker/food processor could be a Christmas present for Tommy!

Oh, by the way, Tommy took his shots like a champ! He cried for a minute but was fine. His appointment was at 3:45 but he didn't get the shots until around 4:30. We came home and he slept on and off until bedtime then slept from 7:30-5 and went back to sleep until I got him up at 7:15 to take him to daycare!

Teeth and Cribs

Since my last post, we've been dealing with teething. My poor baby has tons of teeth trying to poke through right now :( The strange part is it seems that the top ones will come in first, at least those are the most prominent ones right now. I thought the bottom teeth came in first and that it wouldn't be until, like, 6 months. I hope they come in soon though because baby boy is a drooly, hand chewing mess. Some nights he just whimpers and cries all night. Sunday night, he was awake every hour and the only thing I could do to console him was nurse. At least I had that. The good news is that he is pretty happy and unfazed the majority of the time.

On a completely unrelated note, we decided to transition Tommy from the PackNPlay to the crib. Our goal was to have him transitioned by Christmas and he is rapidly outgrowing the bassinet part of the PNP. We decided to go ahead and give it a try this week while I'm off of work for a few days and will have help during the day if I need a nap.

So last night instead of his nighttime routine being done in our room, I did it in his room. It took a little bit longer to get him to sleep than it normally does but he went down relatively easily. After he was asleep I went out to the living room and broke down. Bill suggested that we just try and go to bed so I wouldn't be just sitting around upset. We went to bed and I made Bill hug me so that I wouldn't go get him. Tommy slept until 2, ate, then went back down pretty easily. He slept until 6! He might have kept sleeping if I just gave him his pacifier but I missed him and scooped him up without thinking.

He did great! I, woke up A LOT. I was listening for him and waking up thinking I heard him. Then there is the monitor. It has a voice activated setting which means it doesn't make any sound when he's quiet and kicks on when there is a noise. So when Tommy farts, it turns on. When he moves his head around, it clicks on. When he coughs, it turns on. Every time it turns on, I wake up where I used to just sleep through those kinds of noises with him in the room. I'm wondering if it would make sense for me to just leave it on and have the static in the background while I sleep.

The good news is that it went so well. I'm exhausted thinking about doing it again tonight though. I know we can do it but it's emotionally draining.

Sorry I've been MIA

It has been far too long since my last post. This is mostly due to the fact that life has definitely picked up! Work days consist of getting ready, going to work, picking up Tommy, cuddling/feeding Tommy, bottles and prep for the next day, bed, rinse, repeat. Weekends are filled with laundry, lesson planning, grocery shopping, and trying to see family and friends. Don't get me wrong, I love it, but it doesn't leave me much free time for things like blogging!

So a rundown:

Tommy is 3 months old!!!
He's still in size 1 diapers but will be graduating to size 2s once this box of 1s is used up.
He is wearing size 3 month clothes comfortably.
He is drinking 6oz bottles while at daycare and I'm almost pumping enough so that he can have all breastmilk.
He is taking at least one nice long nap a day as well as a few shorter naps.
HE SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT!!!! Last Friday night, he slept from 8pm-7am!!! Then Sunday night he slept from 7pm-5am, ate and went back down until 7. Last night he slept from 7:30-6:30 waking up once because he was all congested. Once I held him upright for a couple of minutes, he went right back to sleep.
He is consistently rolling from belly to back and is trying to go from back to belly.
He is smiling daily and babbling away.

An update on the dairy sensitivity, Tommy is a completely new baby! His gas has decreased considerably. He is much happier and is much more relaxed. I used to lay my hand on his belly and feel gas bubbles moving around. He would pull his legs up to his belly and wince in pain everyday, multiple times a day. This is completely gone! Now, he basically cries when he's hungry or tired.

Being a mom is very hard and giving up dairy is difficult but it's so worth it. I'm so in love with my little guy!

1 Week Down!

Today was the last day of my first week back at work. Luckily, it was a four day week because of the Columbus Day holiday so it was a nice, short week. Tuesday was really hard. I got up, got myself and Tommy ready, and brought Tommy to daycare. I'm so glad that we decided on this center. I really trust them and know that Tommy will be in good hands while he's there which makes leaving him a lot easier. My cousin's two kids go there and I was very fortunate that his wife was dropping their kids off at the same time as I was on Tuesday. She waited for me and walked me out. I was crying of course and she gave me a hug and told me that he would be great and that it would get easier. She was right.

Wednesday, Bill dropped Tommy off and it was a lot easier leaving Tommy with Bill than at daycare but I was still leaving him for the day. Thursday and today were each easier than the previous time I left him. I only teared up for a quick minute today, no actual crying!

Tommy only ate 2 oz at a time on Tuesday so only 6 oz total for the whole day. He cluster fed like crazy that night but I didn't mind. By today, he was eating 3, 4oz bottles. I'm glad that he is taking to them. He has only been cat napping for the most part but today he did take one, hour and a half long nap! I think they'll get him on an eating and napping schedule before we know it!
For now though, they are feeding on demand.

That brings me to pumping. I have a small freezer stash but can't use any of it since it all was pumped before I found out that Tommy is sensitive to dairy, which I'll add another post about later. We can't use any of that milk. Pumping at school has been interesting. Technically, my employer is required to provide a place to pump and a time other than my lunch or planning period but that really isn't practical. If I pump outside of those two times, I have to leave my class with someone which means writing sub plans everyday. It just won't really work. So I've been feeding Tommy around 5:30 then putting him back to bed while I get ready for work. I pump at 10:00 during my planning period and at 12:00 during my lunch. I pick up Tommy by 4:00 and feed him when we get home if he's hungry, if not, I pump then too.

This has worked alright so far but I don't pump enough. My first pumping session usually gives me a good amount, about 7oz. However, I get 5oz from the right side and only 2 on the left. During my lunch I've been getting about 3-4oz, 2-3 on my right and only 1 on the left. I've only had to pump once when I get home and I got 3oz on the right and 1oz on the left. My left boob is a dud. I bought some fenugreek and planned on starting to take it this weekend in hopes of boosting my supply but now I'm not sure if I should or not. I get a good amount on the right side, I just want to boost my supply on the left. I leave the pump going on the left the whole time I'm getting milk from the right. It takes about 10 minutes to get the right completely "emptied" and only about 3 on the left. I think I'm going to try to call the lactation consultants on Monday and see what they suggest. I have noticed that Tommy definitely eats on the right side much longer than the left irregardless of which side I start him on. I've tried offering him the left side again after be pulls off and he just gets frustrated.

Tommy has also started to get a hang of our bedtime routine! He even moved his bedtime up for me! He was going to bed around 10:00 but decided on Monday night that he was tired around 8:00 so I started our routine then and he was asleep by 8:00 and slept until I woke him up at 7:00am just waking up long enough to eat twice! He kept his early bedtime all week and went to bed about an hour ago tonight!

Overall, my first week back went pretty well. Things are a bit crazy at school and I have to put in some hard work to get my class the way I would like them but it will be fine. My sub did a great job, there are just some things that I do differently! I'm glad to be back at work and even though I miss Tommy terribly, I think it's good for both of us!

Two Months!

Tommy is 2 months old today!!!
Tommy is 11lbs 14ozs and 23 inches long. He is getting much better at napping and sleeping at night by himself. He's definitely not sleeping through the night but he does sleep all night long. He goes to sleep around 10 and sleeps until about 8am just waking up to eat every 3 hours or so. He was sleeping longer stretches but has been waking up more since he's been in his PNP. It's okay though, I think he'll start lengthening the stretches soon. I'm not sure what will happen when I go back to work next week but I'm hoping he'll adjust easily! Happy 2 months Tommy, we love you!

Hopfully I Don't Jinx Myself

Monday morning, Tommy fell asleep for a nap and I put him down in his Pack N Play. He slept for 2.5 hours. That afternoon, he slept for another 2.5 ours in it after his shots. That night, he slept for 3 hours in it. Yesterday he took one 45 minute nap and slept from 10pm-4am (waking up every 2 hours) in it. Today, he took a 3 hour nap in there and he even went down drowsy but awake!

I'm not going to get excited or anything but could we have made progress????

8 Week Appointment

Today was Tommy's 8 week doctor's appointment. He is weighing in at 11lbs 9oz and 23in long. His head circumference is 39.5cm. This puts him in the 50th percentile in all three areas, perfectly average! He was given 3 shots (Hep B, Pneumococcal, and Pentacel) and a drinkable (Roto Virus) immunization and I cried longer than he did. He cried so hard and kept looking at me like, "why are you letting this happen." I had heard how hard shots are on parents but had no idea until it was my baby.

I went into the appointment with a whole list of questions and things to discuss with the pediatrician and here's a quick run down. He has an umbilical hernia but that's nothing to be concerned about until he is 3 years old, it should fix itself by then. The number of times a day he gets the hiccups is normal (3 on average!). She is confused by the whole formula thing, she said that if he was exclusively formula fed, she would think that the reaction he had to the Gentlease was a milk protein allergy but the fact that he doesn't react adversely to the breastmilk means he probably doesn't. She said to keep him on the soy formula if it seems to be working. His fussiness is probably gas but there isn't much that can be done, he's just a gassy, fussy baby.

Then I brought up his sleeping issues. She told me I need to get him to sleep on his own. She told me that as long as he's fed, changed, and comfortable when held, to put him down and let him cry. She told me to let him cry as long as I am comfortable with, that in her medical opinion, there is nothing wrong with letting him cry. I'm not sure what to do. I don't believe in letting a baby cry it out this young but I really don't want him sleeping in our bed either.

Completely randomly though, he is currently taking his second nap of the day in his Pack N Play. I put him down in it this morning for his nap and he slept for an hour and a half in there and I just put him down in there again. I put him down on his side both times since he hates being on his back and both times he wiggled himself to his belly. So he's sleeping soundly in his Pack N Play, but on his belly. I'm fine with it for naps since I can sit right next to him and keep an eye on him but I don't know about letting him do it at night.

This whole being a mother thing is really hard.

Sleep

Last night we went to a graduation party for my cousin Joe. He graduated from Syracuse University this past August and his parents decided that a fun way to celebrate would be to have everyone over to watch an SU football game! The game this week didn't start until 8:00 and I was a bit worried about taking Tommy to a party so late. We usually start our little bedtime routine (clean diaper, PJs, swaddle, nurse) at 9:00 and I knew we wouldn't be home by then but figured that we won't be able to be home at bedtime every night, so let's give it a whirl when Bill would be off the next day.

Tommy did great! He hung out and let lots of my aunts and cousins hold him. He ate once and my cousin's wife, who has 2 kids, kept me company in the other room and was so funny! I brought my Udder Cover and when I was putting it on, she said, "OMG don't even worry about covering up in front of me! I mean, you can if you're uncomfortable but I don't care at all!" So, I free-boobed it!

We stayed until halftime which was slightly before 10:00. Tommy had gotten grumpy and tired and I was feeling just as tired! We got home and it took almost an hour to get Tommy fed and asleep. By then it was 11:00. I put Tommy in his bouncy chair and went to sleep, bracing myself for a possible rough night. Imagine my surprise when I woke up to a hungry baby at 4:00!!! I was in such a deep sleep that I was confused. I haven't slept that deeply in, well, a long time! I fed him and got him back to sleep and slept until 8:30! I woke up feeling great! Keep it up Tommy!

Ok, I'm feeling much better since the last post. I've decided to stop pushing the whole sleeping-in-the-Pack-N-Play thing. If Tommy will sleep in the Rock-N-Play or bouncy chair, then great.

Ok, Tommy is 5 weeks old! Let's celebrate some milestones!

1. The newborn sized diapers are too small now. We're on to size 1s!
2. Along with the diapers, newborn sized clothes are mostly too small too! On to 0-3 month size!
3. My little man is incredibly strong! He's holding his head up longer and moving it from side to side with ease while laying on our chests. He's also bearing weight on his feet. We will hold him up in front of us and he straightens his legs right out and loves when we bounce him on his feet (not too much weight though!).
4. This isn't a great milestone but we had our first "sick" visit to the doctor. Last Monday, we woke up to Tommy's eye glued shut with goop. I used a warm, wet washcloth to clean it off and checked him out. The whites of his eyes weren't pink or red so I didn't think it was pink eye but I called the pediatrician anyway. They had us come in the next day since Monday was a holiday and it turns out he has a blocked tear duct. They said to use cotton balls to keep his eye clean and to massage the tear duct several times a day. Luckily for us, it hasn't seemed to bother Tommy at all.
5. This is a big one, Tommy went from 12:30pm-6:00am last night without a feeding! Now, he did wake up twice with gas bubbles so we didn't really sleep straight through, but I have high hopes that this will come soon!
6. Tommy took a bottle of formula last night without a fight and actually seemed to like it! While Bill gave him the bottle, I pumped and got 4.5 oz! This gives me high hopes that I'll be able to get some good amounts when I go back to work and hopefully will have a big enough freezer stash that if I stop producing much milk, we'll still be able to feed him breastmilk for a while.

In other news, my maternity leave is officially up as of September 21 when I go to the doctor for my 6 week postpartum appointment. I have enough sick time accrued to get me through mid-October if the school district will approve the leave. However, this year is my tenure year and I can't get a straight answer as to whether taking more time will affect my tenure date. I've been calling, emailing, and even visiting personnel and can't get an answer. The woman who should have the answer told me she had to "research it further" and would get back to me. That was yesterday and she won't answer my calls today. So frustrating! I can't be the first teacher to go out on extended childcare leave during her tenure year.

In mommy news, I tried on a pair of my pre-pregnancy jeans today. They were the first ones I could find and are a pair of the smaller ones, but they went on and zipped! They button, but not comfortably and I have a lovely muffin top, but the fact remains that I can put them on! It gives me hope that I'll get back into my pre-pregnancy clothes soon enough!

I took this video this morning, my baby boy must have been having some sweet dreams!

Having a rough day

It's 9:30am and I've already cried multiple times today. First, Bill had to work today because of the massive flooding in Binghamton. They weren't able to deliver to any of their stops in that area the last couple of days so Bill and 2 of his coworkers had to work today. Luckily, Bill only had one stop but it is 2.5 hours away. He should be home by noon.

The major reason I've cried today, though, is I just feel like I suck at this whole mothering thing. First, we've started supplementing with formula. Just one bottle a day for now. The reason being, that pumping is not going well for me. I get MAYBE 2 oz every time I pump and Tommy eats more than that at a feeding. When I go back to work, I'll be lucky if I can get 2 pumping sessions in each day between my lunch and planning period. 4 oz will not be enough to get Tommy through a day of daycare. I spoke to the lactation consultants at the hospital and the pediatrician and decided to give in to formula. I'm going to keep breastfeeding at night, hopefully. So for now, one bottle a day of formula. And Tommy does not really like it. So I feel guilty that we're introducing formula at all and I feel even more guilty that my baby doesn't like it.

The second reason I feel like I suck at being a mother is because I can not get Tommy to sleep at night consistently. I had one night where I really felt like I had a clue, then we had last night. At 8:00, I nursed Tommy to sleep and got him comfortable in the Pack N Play. 15 minutes later he started squawking so I went in to check on him and he started projectile vomiting, choking, and gagging. I scooped him up and cleaned him while Bill cleaned up the Pack N Play. Then Tommy was awake. I didn't want to try to nurse him again because I was afraid he'd vomit again, and he didn't seem hungry. I finally nursed him at 11 and he fell asleep and I got him in the Pack N Play again but he spit up and woke up again. This time I couldn't get him put back down in the Pack N Play and, if I'm being honest, I was too tired to try. So I let him sleep on my chest until 2. At that point I fed him again and he was WIDE AWAKE and FUSSY. Bill eventually got up with him at 3:30 and walked around with him for an hour so I could sleep. Then I nursed him again. Bill had to get ready for work and left by 4:30 and I was alone with a baby who had spit up twice and still hadn't pooped all night (this kid poops EVERY TIME he eats normally). So I gave up. I nursed him laying down and we slept for 3 hours together in our bed. Not good. If I was a good mom I would have stayed up with him or kept trying to put him down in the Pack N Play. If I was a good mom I wouldn't have given up.

What are we going to do? I need to get him sleeping on his own. He can't sleep in bed with us and he can't sleep on my chest forever. I need to get this figured out. Until then, I'm going to keep plugging along. And wiping my tears.

Lessons for Mommy

Sleeping on Mommy

So we've been having some difficulty sleeping at night. Tommy will go to sleep somewhere between 7 and 10pm and sleep for 3-4 hours but then, the rest of the night is a struggle. He will wake up to eat and fall back to sleep, but not want me to put him down. He wants to sleep on mommy. Well, that doesn't really work for mommy because then mommy can't sleep!

Confession: two nights ago, after Bill left for work, I let Tommy sleep in bed with me. In my defense, I fell asleep while I was nursing laying down and it kind of just happened...but I didn't move him when I woke up and noticed. I hadn't slept more than 3 hours that night and he was quiet. This scared me though. We have a pillow-top mattress and it's really not safe for him to be sleeping there.

So after talking with my mom and grandma I decided I needed to get this figured out. I decided that I was going to break this sleeping-on-mommy habit. Last night I took my shirt that I'd worn all day off and laid it down in the pack-n-play and turned on the Sleep Sheep to rain. I then nursed Tommy to sleep. I carefully got up and laid him on his side (more about this in a minute) on my shirt. I kept my arms wrapped around him while he settled in. After about a minute I pulled my arms back slowly. AND IT WORKED!

So, I got him to sleep in the beginning of the night. Three hours later, he woke up to eat. I followed the same routine AND IT WORKED AGAIN!!! He woke up to eat every 2-3 hours all night and I was able to get him back to sleep each time! In the process though, I learned something: Tommy is a VERY loud sleeper. He grunts, and sighs, and moans, and occasionally cries but he does it in his sleep. I think I've been hearing him make these noises and immediately picking him up, subsequently waking him up. Last night I waited him out. Maybe his poor nighttime sleeping habits are my fault. I'm really hoping that we're on to something here. I'm going to try this routine again tonight and see how it goes.

One of the big problems we've had with Tommy sleeping is that he really doesn't like to be flat on his back. He'll nap in his Rock n' Play and bouncy chair but I really don't want to get him used to sleeping in them at night. I'm afraid I'd have a hard time transitioning him to his crib. So, after careful research and discussion, Bill and I decided to let him sleep on his side. He really would like to sleep on his belly but I'm not willing to do that, so side it is.

Here's the thing though, if he's making all of these noises and waking me up all night, should we move him to his crib? I don't know if I'm ready for that. His room is literally right across the hall from our room. And the hall is only 3 feet wide. He wouldn't be far away. But I don't know if I want him out of my eye sight. I guess we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

1 Month

Tommy is officially 1 month old today!

He is 9lbs 4 ozs as of yesterday's trip to the doctor (clogged tear duct)! I'm so happy he is gaining weight and growing like a weed. He celebrated by sleeping from 9pm - 2am last night! That's 5 hours! Of course, the rest of the night didn't go quite as well but hey, it's a start!

It must be documented

Tommy slept GREAT last night!

I fed him at 9:30 and Bill took him to the living room so I could go to sleep (Bill was supposed to be off of work today but ended up getting called in this morning). Apparently, shortly after Bill took him out, he fell asleep in Bill's arms. He brought him in and put him to bed. Next thing I knew, it was 2:30am! Tommy went for 5 hours! I fed him and put him back to sleep pretty quickly and he slept until 6:30! I think he woke up because Bill's phone rang but a 4 hour stretch on top of a 5 hour stretch?! Amazing! I fed him and we fell back asleep until 8:30. I seriously have not slept that good since I was about 7 months pregnant! I feel great today.

Let's replicate it tonight Tommy!

Yay for small victories!

This is Tommy. Napping. In his Pack N' Play. ON HIS BACK!!!

(No, there is no sheet down. I just had the idea to try it out today when he had finally passed out at noon after being awake since 5 this morning. I'll put a sheet on after he wakes up.)

Sometimes Tommy's a Night Owl

Wide awake at 1:00 am

Last night I fed Tommy at 8:00 and went to bed. I slept blissfully from 9-11 when I was awoken by Tommy's little hunger noises. I took him from his chair and fed him. Usually, I have to change his diaper between each side to wake him up enough to eat again so I changed his diaper and he hungrily ate from the other side. At this point, he's usually in a milk coma and I can go back to sleep. Not last night! My little man was still looking up at me like, "now what do we do?" when he had finished eating. I tried putting him back in his chair but he started crying. I held him and rocked him hoping he'd go sleep. Nope. He was WIDE awake. After about an hour, he started to drift off. I waited until I thought he was sleeping deeply enough to put him in his chair but he bolted right awake again as soon as his bum hit the seat. I ended up feeding him again at 1 and he finally went back to sleep at 2. Bill got up and left for work at 3 and I told him that if he woke up the baby I'd kill him. Luckily, he slept through the noise and didn't wake up until 6. I was able to go back to sleep for another hour after I fed him again but those 3 hours in the middle of the night were a killer.

I tried to figure out why he was so wide awake and I have 2 theories. One is that my grandmother ended up coming over yesterday and held Tommy for 5 hours, only giving him up so I could feed him. He slept soundly the whole time. Not only did he get a lot of sleep, it was also all while being held. My second theory is that I might have accidentally hopped him up on caffeine. I got a migraine yesterday afternoon and drank two caffeinated sodas to get rid of it. I drank them around 5:00 so I'm not sure if there would be a 6 hour delay in effects but who knows.

Or maybe Tommy doesn't sleep between 11 and 2 anymore. I hope this isn't the case.

In other news, I ordered a Fisher Price Rock n' Play. I know the pediatrician said it was ok for him to sleep in his bouncer but I did some searching around online and saw that a lot of moms recommended this product for babies who don't like to sleep flat on their backs. I finally signed up for Amazon Mom and bought a Rock n' Play. It should arrive today and we'll give it a shot. I'll let you know how it works. I also ordered a nursing bra. I have 2 that I wore at the end of my pregnancy but they have underwire and I read that you're not supposed to wear underwire while nursing because the pressure can block ducts. We'll see how a supportive a non-underwire bra is for me. I have a rather, um, large chest. I've been living in nursing tanks so far but I'd really like something with more support to wear out in public. We'll see how this goes.

ps. I'm going to brag for a minute, I got on the scale today and I'm down 20 of the 40 pounds I had gained! Yay!

We're home!

The couple of days in the hospital were a blur of getting checked by nurses and trying to get a hang of nursing. I was excited to be released and get home on Tuesday, but also very nervous and scared. Would I be able to do this? Bill was able to take Monday and Tuesday off but needed to return to work on Wednesday. My dad is a teaching assistant so he is off in the summer and would be able to come over to help and my mom was taking Thursday and Friday off of work to be available to help me too. Thank god for family.

I took Tommy to the pediatrician on Wednesday and his jaundice was still in full force but the doctor just said to get him in the sun and keep feeding him and have him poop it all out. Tommy had also lost another 2 ounces and was down to 7lbs 2oz so she wanted to see us back on Friday. By Friday, his jaundice had reduced considerably and he had gained 6oz! He was up to 7lbs 8ozs! I was so proud of my little piggy!

We also have figured out sleeping at night. It's not exactly the way I envisioned but it works. See, Tommy doesn't really like to sleep flat on his back. He fusses and squirms and just wants to be held. Thursday night, I was holding him in the living room so he wouldn't wake Bill up when I decided to try to put him in his bouncy chair. He had slept in it a lot during the day for my mom and needed to try to sleep some. I put him in the chair at 9:00 and we both fell asleep. I woke up in a panic at midnight because he was still quiet. He was still asleep! I woke him up to feed him and put him back in the chair. He then slept until 3:00 when I woke him up to feed him again, then slept until 7:30! I couldn't believe it! I mentioned that he slept well in the bouncy chair to the pediatrician and she told me that if he wouldn't sleep otherwise, then go ahead and let him sleep in the chair. She also told me that as long as he is eating every 2-3 hours throughout the day, then to let him sleep as long as he wants at night. We've been getting 3.5-4 hour stretches! I'm still tired, probably because I'm still recovering and not getting a full, uninterrupted night, but it's MUCH better. I'm hoping that once we get him on a semi-regular sleep schedule, we'll try putting him back in the pack n' play but for now, I'm good with him sleeping in the chair!

So that's what's been going on so far. Today Tommy is one week old! The doctor told us to expect a growth spurt between 7 and 10 days. They said he would want to eat constantly and not to get frustrated. I'm anticipating this with some trepidation. At least I know it's coming and won't freak out that I'm starving my baby!

Tomorrow will be interesting. It will be my first day completely on my own. Well, kind of. I know my dad is around if I need him and will drop everything to come help, but I'm going to see if I can do this on my own for a day. Tuesday my friends are coming to meet him and Bill has a softball game that I might try to bring him to. Wednesday we go back to the doctor and my uncle's political fundraiser. I haven't decided if I'm going to go or not. There will be A LOT of people there but if he doesn't mind the Moby Wrap (still have to try it out) I might give it a try. The hardest thing is knowing whether I should take him places or not. We were going to try going out to breakfast this morning but Tommy was fussy and wanted to eat every hour from 7:30-10:30 so we decided to put that trip on hold. I do know that I need to start going somewhere from time to time because I'm starting to feel pretty cooped up!