While pregnant I just assumed I would breastfeed my baby. I didn't have any clue how it would go and even though I went to a class, I had really no idea what I was getting myself into.
One week in, things were going ok but I was crazy emotional. When Tommy was 2 weeks old, I told Bill I would only nurse until he was 3 weeks old, then I was done. I hated it. At 3 weeks, I decided to stick it out 1 more week because I was afraid that if I stopped, Tommy would get his days and nights confused again (I read somewhere that BFing actually helps to get babies on the right schedule). When Tommy was 4 weeks old, I took him to the doctor for a clogged tear duct and mentioned to the nurse practitioner that I was thinking about stopping. She was very supportive. She said that if I wanted to stop, then I could, that I had given Tommy 4 solid weeks and it wasn't for everyone. She gave me a sample of formula and wished me luck.
I started giving Tommy 1 bottle of formula a day but it wasn't going well (wrote about it here, here, here, here, and here). Once I cut dairy out of my diet and realized what a difference it made in Tommy, I was determined to make it to 6 months.
So here we are now, 3 weeks from my goal and I can't decide if I want to continue or stop in February. I decided I need to make a pros and cons list and see if that helps.
Pros:
* Perfect food
* Contains antibodies that will (hopefully) keep Tommy healthier
* Is easy at home, just whip it out and feed
* Easy in the middle of the night when Tommy's hungry
* Is comforting for Tommy, especially in the middle of the night
* Free
Cons:
* Pumping in the morning means I have to get up 30 minutes early
* Pumping at work means giving up my planning period and not feeling fully prepared
* Not eating dairy is HARD
* Others can't feed him without me needing to pump
* Not convenient when we're out of the house, either have to find a place to nurse or make sure to be home in time.
* No sex drive, may be related to BFing
Hmmmmmmmm 6 points for each side. I don't know what to do. There are some moments where I'm so not ready to stop. Then there are others where I don't know if I can continue, I'm so done with it. Crap. I was hoping for a clear-cut winner...
Showing posts with label Choices. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Choices. Show all posts
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
6 Week Check-Up
I just got home from my 6 week postpartum doctor's visit and all is well! Everything looks great and I got my flu shot so that's one less thing I have to worry about. I spoke with my doctor about birth control options. Basically they are: mini-pill which has to be taken at the exact same time every day, shot which will probably make me gain a bunch of weight, IUD which will cost about $1,000, or condoms. Bill and I discussed it a bit and decided that the shot was out because I just don't like it. IUD is out for now until we're done having kids. I don't want to spend all that money to take it out again in a couple of years (assuming we decide to have more kids ;)) The mini-pill would be an option but I know myself enough to know I wouldn't take it at the same time every day and we'd end up using condoms anyway. So for now, we're going to just stick with condoms until I'm done breastfeeding, then I'll go back on the pill I guess. I wish my insurance would cover birth control but it doesn't :(
Friday, September 9, 2011
Lessons for Mommy
Sleeping on MommyConfession: two nights ago, after Bill left for work, I let Tommy sleep in bed with me. In my defense, I fell asleep while I was nursing laying down and it kind of just happened...but I didn't move him when I woke up and noticed. I hadn't slept more than 3 hours that night and he was quiet. This scared me though. We have a pillow-top mattress and it's really not safe for him to be sleeping there.
So after talking with my mom and grandma I decided I needed to get this figured out. I decided that I was going to break this sleeping-on-mommy habit. Last night I took my shirt that I'd worn all day off and laid it down in the pack-n-play and turned on the Sleep Sheep to rain. I then nursed Tommy to sleep. I carefully got up and laid him on his side (more about this in a minute) on my shirt. I kept my arms wrapped around him while he settled in. After about a minute I pulled my arms back slowly. AND IT WORKED!
So, I got him to sleep in the beginning of the night. Three hours later, he woke up to eat. I followed the same routine AND IT WORKED AGAIN!!! He woke up to eat every 2-3 hours all night and I was able to get him back to sleep each time! In the process though, I learned something: Tommy is a VERY loud sleeper. He grunts, and sighs, and moans, and occasionally cries but he does it in his sleep. I think I've been hearing him make these noises and immediately picking him up, subsequently waking him up. Last night I waited him out. Maybe his poor nighttime sleeping habits are my fault. I'm really hoping that we're on to something here. I'm going to try this routine again tonight and see how it goes.
One of the big problems we've had with Tommy sleeping is that he really doesn't like to be flat on his back. He'll nap in his Rock n' Play and bouncy chair but I really don't want to get him used to sleeping in them at night. I'm afraid I'd have a hard time transitioning him to his crib. So, after careful research and discussion, Bill and I decided to let him sleep on his side. He really would like to sleep on his belly but I'm not willing to do that, so side it is.
Here's the thing though, if he's making all of these noises and waking me up all night, should we move him to his crib? I don't know if I'm ready for that. His room is literally right across the hall from our room. And the hall is only 3 feet wide. He wouldn't be far away. But I don't know if I want him out of my eye sight. I guess we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Ch-ch-changes
This past week was extremely eventful. Tuesday was my work baby shower and I was overwhelmed by the amount of extremely generous gifts we received. My coworkers are amazing.
Besides the shower, I also had tons of end of the year paperwork to do and I also had to completely pack my classroom. I had to literally go through everything and put it all into two piles, one of things that stay with the classroom and one of things that belong to me and need to be moved to my new room. It was very time consuming and hard to do. I didn't want to pick up anything too heavy and hurt myself so once I got boxes packed, I'd basically shove them to the correct side of the room. It took much longer than it would have if I wasn't pregnant but it all was accomplished, whew!
Then, Thursday was our last birthing class. We talked about what to expect after giving birth and went on the tour of Labor and Delivery. It was very helpful to see everything and to be prepared for what our stay will be like in just a few weeks but it was also a bit scary knowing that sometime in the next 9 weeks, I'll be giving birth there (my doctor doesn't really go much longer than 41 weeks).
On top of the stress of packing up my room and finishing birthing classes, Bill got a call Thursday evening that may change a lot of things for us. Last year around this time, he applied for a driving position with another company. Neither of us have been all that happy with his current employer and when the opening was posted at this other company, Bill applied immediately. We have a friend who drives for this company and he put in a good word for Bill. He ended up interviewing and it came down to being between him and another guy and they offered the position to this other guy because he had slightly more experience but promised Bill that if they had any other openings, they would be calling him back.
Well, the guy they hired last year put in his two week notice this week and the supervisor who is in charge of hiring called our friend to see if Bill would still be interested. He said to have Bill update his application on their website and they would call him early next week.
It's a huge decision, one that we basically discussed from the moment Bill got the call on Thursday until we went to bed last night. Currently, Bill works five days a week with Sundays and Tuesdays off. He goes in at around 6am and is usually home between 5:30-6:30pm depending on the day. He works a lot of hours but does get paid pretty well for it. He gets no sick time (which drives me nuts) and 2 weeks of vacation time. This new job would be 5 days a week but with weekends off (would be amazing). He'd go in around 3am and work between 12 and 14 hours a day. He would get sick time and 2 weeks of vacation. At first, he'd be training and not making as much as he makes now but once training was over, he'd be making significantly more than his current salary. They also said that in November, they are hoping to hire another driver and everyone would go down to 4 days a week. Even at 4 days a week, Bill would be making more than he makes now.
Sounds pretty good huh? Here are my concerns. We are having a baby (in case you didn't know that by now) and the thought of another big change at the same time is scary. Also, if Bill is working until about 4 or 5 then needing to get up at 2am, he's going to be getting home and going to bed pretty quickly. He won't be able to help out with the baby at all on the days he works. It will be all me. We're really fortunate in that our families are here and I know I can rely on them for help but I worry about Bill being able to bond with our son.
Another concern I have is that this is a far more physical job than the one he has now. He now has between 2 and 4 stops a day where he pulls his pallets of merchandise straight off of his trailer onto the dock, this new position would mean running ramps at around 15-20 stops per day. He's in pretty good shape now but I worry about how long his body will be able to do this job. He turns 30 this year and while that certainly isn't old, his body will begin to slow down at some point.
We really discussed everything and he's going to talk with his dad (who is in the same industry) about the opportunity but I think the pros out weight the cons. The only major con is that I'll be taking care of the baby on my own. I'm pretty positive that Bill bonding with our child isn't going to be a problem, even if he only sees the baby for a couple of hours a day at first. He is so excited that I'm sure as soon as he walks through the door, he'll be making a bee-line for our son.
I don't know, I'm very emotional about the whole thing and a big part of me really wishes that we didn't have to think about this right now. I wish that the offer would come after we had the baby but there must be a reason for it to be happening now. Maybe it will be easier if Bill takes it now and gets through training before the baby is here. I'm sure it's going to be a huge adjustment for him and it will probably be easier to do now when he can go to sleep whenever he needs to and not be interrupted at all. It's probably for the best.
Last night I went to sleep around 10:30 and slept until 10:30 this morning. I don't know if it was just making up for all that has gone on this week or if I'm starting to slow down. I've been far less comfortable this week. I feel really big and it's really getting difficult to get out of bed and off the couch. There is so much left to be done that I can't really afford to slow down this soon. Luckily, I only have 2 days of work left (Mon and Tues are workshop days) then I'm off for the summer. I'll be able to get it all done once I'm home all day.
Besides the shower, I also had tons of end of the year paperwork to do and I also had to completely pack my classroom. I had to literally go through everything and put it all into two piles, one of things that stay with the classroom and one of things that belong to me and need to be moved to my new room. It was very time consuming and hard to do. I didn't want to pick up anything too heavy and hurt myself so once I got boxes packed, I'd basically shove them to the correct side of the room. It took much longer than it would have if I wasn't pregnant but it all was accomplished, whew!
Then, Thursday was our last birthing class. We talked about what to expect after giving birth and went on the tour of Labor and Delivery. It was very helpful to see everything and to be prepared for what our stay will be like in just a few weeks but it was also a bit scary knowing that sometime in the next 9 weeks, I'll be giving birth there (my doctor doesn't really go much longer than 41 weeks).
On top of the stress of packing up my room and finishing birthing classes, Bill got a call Thursday evening that may change a lot of things for us. Last year around this time, he applied for a driving position with another company. Neither of us have been all that happy with his current employer and when the opening was posted at this other company, Bill applied immediately. We have a friend who drives for this company and he put in a good word for Bill. He ended up interviewing and it came down to being between him and another guy and they offered the position to this other guy because he had slightly more experience but promised Bill that if they had any other openings, they would be calling him back.
Well, the guy they hired last year put in his two week notice this week and the supervisor who is in charge of hiring called our friend to see if Bill would still be interested. He said to have Bill update his application on their website and they would call him early next week.
It's a huge decision, one that we basically discussed from the moment Bill got the call on Thursday until we went to bed last night. Currently, Bill works five days a week with Sundays and Tuesdays off. He goes in at around 6am and is usually home between 5:30-6:30pm depending on the day. He works a lot of hours but does get paid pretty well for it. He gets no sick time (which drives me nuts) and 2 weeks of vacation time. This new job would be 5 days a week but with weekends off (would be amazing). He'd go in around 3am and work between 12 and 14 hours a day. He would get sick time and 2 weeks of vacation. At first, he'd be training and not making as much as he makes now but once training was over, he'd be making significantly more than his current salary. They also said that in November, they are hoping to hire another driver and everyone would go down to 4 days a week. Even at 4 days a week, Bill would be making more than he makes now.
Sounds pretty good huh? Here are my concerns. We are having a baby (in case you didn't know that by now) and the thought of another big change at the same time is scary. Also, if Bill is working until about 4 or 5 then needing to get up at 2am, he's going to be getting home and going to bed pretty quickly. He won't be able to help out with the baby at all on the days he works. It will be all me. We're really fortunate in that our families are here and I know I can rely on them for help but I worry about Bill being able to bond with our son.
Another concern I have is that this is a far more physical job than the one he has now. He now has between 2 and 4 stops a day where he pulls his pallets of merchandise straight off of his trailer onto the dock, this new position would mean running ramps at around 15-20 stops per day. He's in pretty good shape now but I worry about how long his body will be able to do this job. He turns 30 this year and while that certainly isn't old, his body will begin to slow down at some point.
We really discussed everything and he's going to talk with his dad (who is in the same industry) about the opportunity but I think the pros out weight the cons. The only major con is that I'll be taking care of the baby on my own. I'm pretty positive that Bill bonding with our child isn't going to be a problem, even if he only sees the baby for a couple of hours a day at first. He is so excited that I'm sure as soon as he walks through the door, he'll be making a bee-line for our son.
I don't know, I'm very emotional about the whole thing and a big part of me really wishes that we didn't have to think about this right now. I wish that the offer would come after we had the baby but there must be a reason for it to be happening now. Maybe it will be easier if Bill takes it now and gets through training before the baby is here. I'm sure it's going to be a huge adjustment for him and it will probably be easier to do now when he can go to sleep whenever he needs to and not be interrupted at all. It's probably for the best.
Last night I went to sleep around 10:30 and slept until 10:30 this morning. I don't know if it was just making up for all that has gone on this week or if I'm starting to slow down. I've been far less comfortable this week. I feel really big and it's really getting difficult to get out of bed and off the couch. There is so much left to be done that I can't really afford to slow down this soon. Luckily, I only have 2 days of work left (Mon and Tues are workshop days) then I'm off for the summer. I'll be able to get it all done once I'm home all day.
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Daycare
I'm not sure if I've written about our daycare options before. If I give birth around my due date, I'll be taking the first month of school off and going back sometime in October which means we need childcare for our very tiny infant. It's not ideal but next school year is my tenure year and while I don't totally believe in tenure (a story for a different day) I do believe in doing what I can to keep my job! They can't deny me tenure because I had a baby but they can push back my tenure date if I stay out too long.
So anyway, we had a couple of options for daycare.
Yesterday I got the call from the director, WE GOT IN!!! I'm still pretty hesitant about putting my 6-8 week old infant in the care of anyone other than myself or my mom but we knew when we got pregnant that this was going to happen. We knew that we couldn't really afford for either of us to stop working and our young parents all still work. The next best option would be to find a center that really works for us and I think this is it! We go to sign paperwork and tour again on Tuesday. It feels like a huge weight has been lifted!
So anyway, we had a couple of options for daycare.
- A friend of the family sits for kids out of her house. Pros: Least expensive, someone we trust because we really know them. Cons: I love this woman but she's a liver and pancreas transplant survivor and because of that, gets sick and needs to go to the doctor quite often. I worry about her being able to take care of the baby regularly enough. We don't have a backup, one of us would have to call in if she couldn't take the baby and Bill doesn't have sick time, he doesn't get paid if he doesn't go in.
- A daycare center by my work. Pros: Highly recommended by several coworkers, close to work, clean and the staff seemed very competent. Cons: Most expensive option (both in weekly cost and we would have to pay for the summer even though I'd be home), long wait list, close to work but not home.
- A daycare center for employees of my school district. Pros: Recommended by my cousin who takes his kids there, clean and the staff seemed very competent, more inexpensive than option 2 (same weekly cost but because it's for school district employees it's not open when school is not so we only pay for the days we're in session), small - the director knows all of the children and parents by name, very close to our house and convenient for us, my parents, and Bill's mom if they ever needed to pick up the baby for us. Cons: Only take 8 infants a year, somewhat long wait list that only lets kids in at the beginning of the school year.
Yesterday I got the call from the director, WE GOT IN!!! I'm still pretty hesitant about putting my 6-8 week old infant in the care of anyone other than myself or my mom but we knew when we got pregnant that this was going to happen. We knew that we couldn't really afford for either of us to stop working and our young parents all still work. The next best option would be to find a center that really works for us and I think this is it! We go to sign paperwork and tour again on Tuesday. It feels like a huge weight has been lifted!
Monday, March 21, 2011
Pink Slips and Day Care
I am in my second year as a teacher with a small urban school district. Prior to getting my teaching position, I was a full time, TA-sub for two years. I have been able to avoid losing my job due of budget cuts the past three years but this year our district is $50 million short. $50,000,000.00. Crazy. They are cutting almost 600 positions out of about 4,000 total and I'm not super confident that I'll escape the cuts this year. The district sent out the first round of pink slips to be delivered Friday or Saturday and I was lucky enough to be spared so far. They sent out 93 slips to Unit 1 (teachers) and have another 72 to go, so they say. I don't know what will happen with this but all the talk about it and since being laid off was a real possibility, Bill and I have really thought about what it would mean if I were to lose my job.
We have figured out that if I was laid off, I'd get about $400 a week in unemployment. This is not even half of my salary. The positive is that I'd be able to stay home with our baby, something that I'm starting to feel guilty about. I was raised by parents who were home. My mom worked part time for my grandparents when we were little, so even when she worked, it was at their home office and we just played with Grandma while she worked. When we reached school age, my mom took on a better paying job and my dad took a job as a teaching assistant and was home when we were. We were far from rich and my parents made a lot of sacrifices so that they did not have to put us in daycare but I just don't see how we could swing that.
I know that if I really wanted to, I could quit my job and we would could make our finances work but I worked so hard for my degrees and I truly love what I do. I feel guilty about not being home for my baby but I also feel guilty about not working and letting myself down.
I'm not a big religious person I feel like I need to just leave this one up to God. If I'm meant to stay home, I'll get a pink slip. If I'm meant to be a full time teacher as well as a mom, I won't. I'm someone who believes that everything happens for a reason and Bill's motto is "everything works out in the end." I'm taking a combination of the two and leaving this one up to faith.
We have figured out that if I was laid off, I'd get about $400 a week in unemployment. This is not even half of my salary. The positive is that I'd be able to stay home with our baby, something that I'm starting to feel guilty about. I was raised by parents who were home. My mom worked part time for my grandparents when we were little, so even when she worked, it was at their home office and we just played with Grandma while she worked. When we reached school age, my mom took on a better paying job and my dad took a job as a teaching assistant and was home when we were. We were far from rich and my parents made a lot of sacrifices so that they did not have to put us in daycare but I just don't see how we could swing that.
I know that if I really wanted to, I could quit my job and we would could make our finances work but I worked so hard for my degrees and I truly love what I do. I feel guilty about not being home for my baby but I also feel guilty about not working and letting myself down.
I'm not a big religious person I feel like I need to just leave this one up to God. If I'm meant to stay home, I'll get a pink slip. If I'm meant to be a full time teacher as well as a mom, I won't. I'm someone who believes that everything happens for a reason and Bill's motto is "everything works out in the end." I'm taking a combination of the two and leaving this one up to faith.
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