Fear

I spent some time this weekend trying to figure out who I want my OB to be now that my first choice is out. My two main options were a group of 10 doctors in a practice that delivers in a great hospital or a single doctor who delivers in a not as great hospital. I like the idea of having one doctor who knows me really well but the group delivers at a better hospital and they have u/s equipment right in their offices. The proximity of the u/s machine isn't a huge deal but it is appealing and I've heard good things about them from a couple of reputable friends. I've decided to go with them. I'll call my gyno tomorrow and ask them to refer me to the group, hopefully they are taking new OB patients!

I'm really anxious to get started with an OB because my symptoms have kind of disappeared. I didn't have terrible morning sickness but I did feel crappy and most food sounded gross. My boobs were out of control painful. I still have slightly sore boobs but not bad. I'm not at all nauseated but still have a few food aversions. It's just scary. I should be happy that I feel good and if it weren't for the bump I probably would be relaxed but I keep reading about these poor women losing their symptoms and miscarrying. I'm just so afraid that I'm going to lose this baby. I want it so bad. I love it already.

Well, back to work tomorrow. It's been nice having 10 days off and I could stay away from the stress at work but it will be nice to get back into a productive routine.