Dressing my Post-Baby Body

Tommy is one whole year old now and I really haven't bought much in the way of clothes since having him. After he was born, I wore maternity clothes for quite some time. Then, I wore my pre-pregnancy clothes that were all bought over a year prior. This summer, I've worn a mom uniform of shorts and t-shirts. Work starts up again in a couple of weeks and I realized that my wardrobe is looking pretty drab. Luckily, I was given two gift cards for my birthday back in June and my mother in law was dying to take Tommy for the day while Bill went on a day trip with friends.

Armed with gift cards I arrived at the mall. I went to Loft first as it has always been my favorite store. They give a 15% educator discount on regular priced items and occasionally you can get cashier to give it to you on sale items too ;)

I really did not find much there, however. I bought this shirt and sweater. I feel like I spent WAY too much on them but really liked them.

Then I went to a few other stores finding absolutely NOTHING that I liked and/or fit correctly. I looked in JCPenney, Francesca's, New York & Co, Forever 21 (though I walked in and walked back out because I was too overwhelmed), J Crew, and finally The Limited. The Limited was running a 40% off the whole store sale. There, I bought a shirt, two pairs of pants, and a purple infinity scarf that doesn't seem to exist on the website:

And that's it. That's all I found. I'm doing alright for pants because I have a couple other pairs that are still in decent shape but I'd really like to get some more tops. About 45 minutes away there is an outlet mall that has a Banana Republic Outlet where I usually find nice clothes. I think it's time to take a trip out there. 

It's just so frustrating to try on item after item and hate the way they look or having them not fit at all. I'm on the upper end of regular clothing stores, wearing a size ((gulp)) 14 or 16 pants and usually XL shirts. I have a large chest so often, shirts fit wrong either being too tight in the chest or fitting in the chest but being too loose everywhere else. I was hoping to find some looser tops with more fitted pants and it seems like none of the stores I visited carried those styles.

Oh well, I'll keep looking and focus on looking at cute clothes for Tommy, he looks great in everything ;)

Update: Progressive Waiting Approach

I mentioned before that I read Dr. Ferber's book and tried the Progressive Waiting Approach (CIO with check-ins) with Tommy. I am happy to say that it has been an overwhelming success! The first night he cried for 41 excruciating minutes. Every night after that, the amount of time has decreased and now, just over a week later, he goes down without crying at all!

This is the bedtime routine we've adopted:

• bottle while sitting in the chair in his room, lights on, and no going to sleep
• brush teeth
• read a book
• hug and a kiss and lay down in his crib

and that's it! I wanted to be sure to have a routine that could be implemented anywhere, by anyone. I put him down for the first 7 nights and had Bill do both nights this past weekend. I was concerned that he would have trouble adjusting to Bill but because he followed the same routine, it went over perfectly! 

The first night I did check-ins at 3, 5, 7, 10, and 12 minute increments before he fell asleep. By the third night I stretched it out to 5, 10, 15 minute increments and after that, I never had to go past the 10 minute increment. 

I had decided to only use this approach at bedtime and to continue to get him down for naps however I could. After a couple of days he started refusing to be rocked to sleep for naps and either fell asleep while drinking a bottle, in the car, or by being put down in his crib awake. The wonderful side effect of this is that his naps have stretched out some. He was driving me crazy with his 40 minute naps and while some of his naps are still short, he usually gives me at least one longer nap a day. 

Cry it out methods aren't for every baby or for every family but I am so glad that I did this with Tommy. We had a set back last night when he woke up multiple times with teething pain and all it took was a hug and a quick pat on the back and Tommy put himself back to sleep. Prior to using this method, I'd either have to rock him back to sleep which usually took at least 20 minutes, or bring him to our bed where no one would enter a deep sleep.

It has been wonderful for us. I highly recommend reading Dr. Ferber's book, Solving Your Child's Sleep Problems prior to trying this method if for no other reason than the reassurance that what you are doing has research to back it up. When Tommy was screaming so hard the first two nights, having the book there to reference was a huge help.

I'm a big Dr. Ferber fan now!

My baby is 1!

From this

To this!

I can't believe it's been a whole year since we've been a family of three! Tommy is: 

• crawling
• climbing
• cruising
• saying ma-ma, da-da, ba-ba, uh-oh, ba (ball), cl (clock), k (book)
• can clap
• raises his arms if you say hip hip hooray
• claps to "If you're happy and you know it"
• touches his head and belly if you ask where they are
• puts himself to sleep at nap and bedtime (more on this later)
• waves hi and bye
• gives kisses
• blows kisses
• shakes his head no if he doesn't want something
• has 7 teeth with 3 more pushing through
• pets the cat and the dog
• and so much more!

I love you Thomas Harrison! I can't imagine my life without you!

Sleep Training: Day 2

I was so tempted to skip today but I knew I had to just do it. With Bill being out of town, I've had dinner at my parents' house both last night and tonight. I sang silly songs the whole way home so that Tommy wouldn't fall asleep in the car. It worked but he was super tired by the time we got home, right before his 8:00 bedtime. Last night I pushed bedtime back by 30 minutes as Ferber recommends for the first couple of nights, but figured that Tommy was sleepy enough tonight that I didn't need to. 

I brought him to his room, changed his diaper and gave him his bottle with the lights on, talking to him the whole time to keep him awake. After the bottle we brushed his teeth and went back to his room to read a book. I read a different book tonight than last night and looking back, I wonder if I should have read the same book for consistency's sake thought I doubt it really makes much of a difference.

After the book, I said, "night night Tommy, I love you" and tried to lay him down in his crib. He immediately started crying. 

8:04 Laid him in his crib
8:07 First check
8:12 Second check
8:21 Third check
8:31 Fourth check. After this his crying was sporadic.

8:37 Crying ends completely and I assume he went to sleep after 34 minutes, down from 41 yesterday.

Tonight he seemed to realize that I wasn't going to pick him up. Each time I went in, he grabbed my shirt and tried to pull himself up into my arms. He would snuggle his head into my stomach and try to soothe himself that way. Each time I left, his crying would increase in intensity. What made it especially difficult was that our dog, Hojo, was being a big pain in the butt. He kept pacing outside of Tommy's room, walking from our room to the hallway and back, nails clicking, because he wanted to go outside. When I finally gave in and let him out, he started barking immediately which was annoying since there is a window in Tommy's room that looks out over the backyard. Then Hojo wouldn't come back inside so I had to run outside after him and try to usher him back in the house (which is why there is a 9 minute slot instead of a 7 minute). 

By the time Tommy went to sleep, my nerves were fried. I see it as a good thing that it took Tommy less time to go to sleep tonight although every minute felt like an eternity. Hopefully tomorrow is even shorter.

Oh, naps! I brought Tommy to my parents' house at 10am and he hadn't napped yet. My mom gave him a bottle at 11 and he fell asleep while eating and took a 2 hour nap. He seems to nap really well at my parents' house which might have something to do with the blackout shades they have in the room with their crib. I'm going to invest in some for Tommy's room in our house and see if it helps. He also took a 30 minute nap this afternoon, part in the car and part in the crib.

Alright, let's hope that he sleeps well tonight. Once I got him to sleep, I poured myself a glass a wine. I'm feeling much more relaxed now and am ready for bed. Night!

Update

We made it! Tommy fell asleep on his own last night and slept through until 7:00 this morning! Woohoo! I've decided to hold off on changing his naps just yet. After reading the naps section of Ferber's book I've realized that we really need to make some major changes to the nap schedule. I think that nighttime sleep training plus a big change in naps would be too much right now. I'm going to continue with the nighttime training until I feel like it has become a good routine then I'm going to work on naps. As it stands right now, Tommy takes a 40ish minute nap at 9:00am and another one at 1:00pm. Then I try and keep him up until bedtime at 8:00pm. He used to take another nap at 5:00pm but it has started to interfere with bedtime. I have tried pushing back the morning or afternoon nap a bit but it hasn't really helped. I think I need to really make an effort to push them both back or cut him down to one, solid nap. I haven't decided which to do yet so I'm going to think about it.

PS. I should add that Bill is totally on board with whatever I decide is best. He really doesn't have time to read Ferber's book (along with some attention issues when it comes to reading) so I've been explaining it as I go through it. When it comes to doing any research regarding Tommy, Bill defers to me!

Progressive Waiting Approach

After putting it off for a while I finally decided it was time to do some sleep training. Tommy has really been fighting bedtime lately, especially on the nights that Bill puts him to sleep, and he's been waking up in the middle of the night again. Naps have been really hard and I figured it was time. I waited until this most recent tooth came through so he wouldn't be dealing with teething pain. He's not currently sick and I didn't give him any dairy today at all. Bill is out of town for a guys' weekend so I decided that this is my opportunity to just do it. I downloaded Ferber's book, Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems and furiously read as much as I could today. That's how I am, I make a decision and I just do it. If I mull it over, I wimp out.

I went to my parents' house for dinner and Tommy dosed off on the way home. I woke him up, played with him for a little while, and brought him into his room at 8:20 instead of his normal 8:00 bedtime (a Ferber recommendation). I fed him his bottle with the lights on and I talked to him and recited nursery rhymes to him to keep him from falling asleep. After the bottle we quick brushed his teeth (something he loves lately) and read a Thomas the Train book that he likes. Then I gave him a big hug and told him that I love him very much and that it was time for him to go to bed. I said, "night night Tommy" which will be our bedtime phrase, turned of the light, and put him in his crib. Of course he started bawling. 

8:37 Put him in his crib and said goodnight.
8:40 First check.
8:45 Second check.
8:52 Third check.
9:04 Fourth check.
9:08 Crying stops and he went to sleep. We don't have a video monitor so I wasn't able to see him but I know he went to sleep sometime after he stopped crying.

A couple of observations: it was really freaking hard to listen to him crying especially because he has really started to say ma-ma this week and he kept yelling it out. What was even harder was when he stopped saying ma-ma and switched to da-da, like he gave up on me and thought Bill could come "save" him. The strange part was when he stopped crying. He slowed some, stopping the gut wrenching screams and moving to more of a moaning cry but still crying with force. Then he just stopped. He must have just dropped with exhaustion.

So now he's sleeping. I'm really hoping that he just sleeps through the night because I really don't want to deal with this in the middle of the night! I really hope it helps. I was supposed to go meet Bill tomorrow with the other girlfriends/wives but part of the reason I'm not going is because I don't want to leave him overnight with my parents again. Last time he freaked out for 2 hours while they tried to put him to bed. I feel like it was definitely time to try something. I just hope it works well.

Another dairy update

So, I'm not really sure how it went! I wrote about how I gave Tommy some mac & cheese for lunch on Tuesday. He did wake up in the middle of the night crying but it didn't take long to rock him back to sleep. Could be a coincidence. I gave him some more mac & cheese last night for dinner. Bill gave him a bottle at 6:45 because he was asking for one then brought him to my softball game. Tommy fell asleep on the way home from the game so Bill didn't give him another bottle before bed. He woke up at 4am crying and crying. He finally asked for a bottle so I gave it to him and he went back to sleep. So, was his waking up related to the dairy or just a coincidence? I have no idea. I'm going to hold off on the dairy today and try again in a couple of days. It could just be his body getting used to a new food rather than an issue too. I'm really not sure. I'd like to know one way or the other by his 12 month appointment on Wednesday so I know what to tell the pediatrician. Oh well, we'll figure it out!