I like to think of myself as a good mom. I do everything I can to keep my son safe and happy. I tell him many times a day how much I love him and feed him nutritious foods.
That being said, like most first time moms, I have no clue what I'm doing! It's my belief that most of parenting is a learn-as-you-go process. You learn by doing, which includes making mistakes. You take advice from your mom, your mother-in-law, your friends, and your pediatrician and you do what works best for your family and your baby. There is no one-size-fits-all approach for anything.
My grandma, whom I love very much, has been encouraging me to let Tommy "cry it out" since he was about 3 weeks old. She told me that he needs to learn to sleep by himself and that it's my job to teach him by letting him try. I respectfully disagreed with her. My mom told me to try it when he was about 8 weeks old saying that he's healthy and his sleep problems were because I have made him depend on me to fall asleep. I respectfully disagreed with her as well. Come to find out, he screamed and cried and was a terrible sleeper because he had a dairy sensitivity and his stomach was killing him! (point for mommy!)
Of course, my mom and grandma have given me plenty of great advice but I sometimes have to remind them that what worked for them won't necissarily work for me and my son especially because things have changed in the decades since they have had children.
Doing things my way have worked alright. I do still nurse Tommy to sleep at bedtime but he sleeps through the night from 8pm until 5:30 or 6:00am most nights! Naps have been a bit more frustrating. I used to be able to rock him to sleep pretty easily but now that he's so aware of what's going on and interested in everything, he never wants to stop playing! He'll be yawning and miserable but I'll literally have to lay him down in bed with me and force him to go to sleep to get a decent nap on the weekends. I decided it was time to ask daycare if they were having the same issues we were.
I talked to one of the teachers in Tommy's room and asked her how they get Tommy down. She said they give him a kiss, lay him down, and he goes to sleep. Um, what?! Really?! I was shocked. She said that they have to put him down last out of all of the babies because he goes right to sleep and when the other babies fuss or cry, it wakes him up. Seriously?! I realized that it's probably because they have such a consistent routine every single day. They lay the babies down at 9:00 and 12:45. He knows that it's naptime and just goes to sleep.
So I decided to follow their schedule completely yesterday. I always nurse Tommy when he wakes up in the morning and during the week, I get up and we get ready for the day. On the weekend, we laze around in bed for a while. Yesterday I got right up and we started our day. He ate his bottle and breakfast at 8, just like at daycare, and at 9 I brought Tommy into his room, kissed him, and laid him down. He fussed for exactly 1.5 minutes and was out cold! Today I did the same thing at 9 and 12:45 and he fussed for a minute or two each time and went back to sleep! Who knew?
So the key was to do the same routine and to LET HIM FUSS! I never do. I hate to hear him cry. I hate to think that he feels abandoned. However, now at just about 9 months old, he is just upset that he's not getting what he thinks he wants. As his mom, I know that he needs a nap. It's my job to make sure he gets it.
It's kind of what my mom and grandma were telling me so many months ago. I still do not agree with them that he needed this back at just a few weeks old, but now, yeah, I think they are right.
